1. |
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when we were kids
you taught me everything i know
about appreciation and compassion.
“chaos reigns in me”-
words written in tape on an art class table.
along with:
“all i feel is rushing water”,
and,
“the water is rising up to my eyes”.
lying in bed at night,
there is one reclaimed thought i cannot shake-
chaos reigns in me,
it makes up everything i am.
chaos reigns in me,
i can feel its rushing water.
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2. |
Annihilation Lust
02:46
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i’m gonna drink so much water
that my gut explodes
and my roommates will have to clean up
my pink blood off the floor
lovers laying, eating wings off moths
you make me feel like a child.
you make me swallow future raw,
you make me lust to raze,
please say my name! please say my name?
i love to hear my own name.
when i think about you, bunny
all i can think is “you’re so funny”.
when we tied me up and put me in the pool,
all i could think was “you are so cool”.
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3. |
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a rotting fruit in your left hand,
a dark red loom weaving your heartache
you wash yourself in other people,
the riverbed is filling up
you hold me down in the sugar
your hands feel like fire on my back
i know i’m yours, you stone fruit-palmer,
drown me in you
i want to
your body, shaking
true colors, light-black heart
my gigantic body floats over you
our souls are the same size
every memory (photograph) of me
is also a memory (photograph) of you
feeling strange, but it’s okay,
we are chained to what we do
feeling strange, cuz i am chained
maybe that’s just what i do
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4. |
Baby Bunny
02:49
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baby bunny
show me inside me
all this pain,
the old trees are burning down!
world-line seed,
germinating!
an old house,
stitching together so many lives!
the tree is flowering,
and my heart is growing like an apple.
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5. |
Sol Bloom
07:00
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i’ve been away, marking the hours till i can see you
still in disbelief that you exist at all
if i’m a halo hung around your heart,
okay, that’s fine.
i feel like i’ve loved you my whole life.
but can i survive this?
take myself apart so i can clean the pieces
pull apart what grows from them, petal by petal
i will salt the flowerbeds and burn the leaves
because i’m too precious with myself,
and i’ve waited so long
for anything at all.
(ya ya)
you’ve been feeding on this world’s love and latent power,
lavender star
i wish that we could be more than just humans on earth together,
i wanna float through formlessness with you,
i wanna share our childhoods and past lives too,
how could we know that death is the end-
as far as we’re concerned, that never mattered.
my real body wakes up
does the things i’m meant to do
takes a shower, works, and goes to school-
but i’m rushing water miles below you.
if i turn blue you’re going too fast,
house upstate, lit tungsten path
pools of rushlight- waste from your own fat.
and i’m rushing water miles below you.
catching snowflakes on your tongue,
watching colors bleed to one-
pink and orange, plum and shades of blue.
and i’m rushing water miles below you.
swallow’s song carried through air.
dinner gets thrown on the floor.
fallow cycle, one year from today.
and i’m rushing water miles below you.
detoxing your energy,
your favorite show is on right now.
you’re lying with your pet and some reishi.
feel my rushing water,
you know me
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6. |
Moss Stitch
03:42
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i am spinning all the time.
when i sing your song, i can taste my crush’s skin.
the dew of a hot car at night
where you called me “fire”, egolessly
palming your emptiness in both my hands,
snot on your face, clawing around
“i am you”, you said
“your pain is mine”
our superposition.
“i am you”.
the cloth, the moss stitch of all time,
it’s eternalistic, and i barely get it right
the knit, the interlocking fingers,
the i-don’t-know-how-to-say-“i love you”,
and the loom in our future living room
and the tapestries it makes
feeling the spread of your waist across both my hands,
we dance across the threads all night
“i am you”, you said, “your pain is mine”-
but you just embroidered your name on me.
red name in stitches,
“i want to be you”.
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7. |
Tulpa Gape
06:03
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i carry your show dress on my back,
powder makeup still caked in the corset
your reveal was bad and poorly staged
but i wish i could’ve seen it still
katakana you (i) don’t understand
in lipstick behind you on the shower wall
your soft white hand around my gut
one year later
your hair looks so orange under the tungsten lights
i just get so flushed when i imagine your life
your smooth back reminds me of a tile floor
i can’t help but burn when i imagine your life
you shrug when i speak about anything
there is nothing between you and i
you left my door wide open,
and your tulpa walked right in.
you see me and you clasp your sweaty hands together-
will you be strong? or will you be kind--
weaving your hair into a rope made of flowers,
or sacrificing everything in animal worship?
your hair looks so white under fluorescent lights
i just get so flushed when i imagine your life
your sleeping body reminds me of a rothko
i can’t help but burn when i imagine your life
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8. |
Light's Zero Point
04:16
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amber, ember, forest runner
i just want to be left alone
amber, ember, forest runner
this bed is not big enough
for the two of us to sleep in
wax and fire, chopin’s nocturnes
i find your darkness boring
when the light hits zero point
i know when we make out, it’ll come on again
you’re trying to destroy me
just to show me that you’re something to be scared of
but i’m not scared of you
because how could i be scared of you
i saw you hanging from a tree
across the street over my neighbor’s lawn
i could almost feel you with my hands
hanged like a prism in my window
i saw you hanging from a tree
across the street over my neighbor’s lawn
the flower of evil blooms
and no one’s around to see it
i saw you hanging from a tree
across the street over my neighbor’s lawn
i could almost feel you with my mouth
cold like a rainbow in my window
i saw you hanging from a tree
across the street over my neighbor’s lawn
the flower of evil blooms
and no one is paying attention
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9. |
Born From A Wish
05:35
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eating candy on the B train
i don’t mind when you hit me
because i like it when you touch me
your sour mouth melts carbon
every time i taste it
you live for death and i am wasted
your black star halo pulls me in
and i am in your patterned ring
day of the double agent, day of oscillation
we are woven in the fabric
you steal my worth
to shape me how you want me
you make eyes like you’re hungry
so kiss me, hold my hand
and guide me
your perfect hands
and the cleaved porcelain you carry
push down on me until i can’t breathe
and the white flesh that you’ve burnt
and made slick for me
makes me question if i could survive your radiation
you steal my worth
to shape me how you want me
you make eyes like you’re hungry
so here i am
i love you
and i am ready to be swallowed
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Thunder Gloss Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
we are four things:
1. rock music band
2. esoteric bookclub
3. art custodians
4. regular custodians
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