i’ve been away, marking the hours till i can see you
still in disbelief that you exist at all
if i’m a halo hung around your heart,
okay, that’s fine.
i feel like i’ve loved you my whole life.

but can i survive this?

take myself apart so i can clean the pieces
pull apart what grows from them, petal by petal
i will salt the flowerbeds and burn the leaves
because i’m too precious with myself,
and i’ve waited so long
for anything at all.

(ya ya)

you’ve been feeding on this world’s love and latent power,
lavender star
i wish that we could be more than just humans on earth together,
i wanna float through formlessness with you,
i wanna share our childhoods and past lives too,
how could we know that death is the end-
as far as we’re concerned, that never mattered.

my real body wakes up
does the things i’m meant to do
takes a shower, works, and goes to school-
but i’m rushing water miles below you.

if i turn blue you’re going too fast,
house upstate, lit tungsten path
pools of rushlight- waste from your own fat.
and i’m rushing water miles below you.

catching snowflakes on your tongue,
watching colors bleed to one-
pink and orange, plum and shades of blue.
and i’m rushing water miles below you.

swallow’s song carried through air.
dinner gets thrown on the floor.
fallow cycle, one year from today.
and i’m rushing water miles below you.

detoxing your energy,
your favorite show is on right now.
you’re lying with your pet and some reishi.
feel my rushing water,
you know me